Exclusion

Have you ever felt excluded? Like me, I am sure that you have; but let me take that one step further, have you ever felt excluded in a person’s life that you thought you shared an intimate relationship with? If so, then you know the hurt and the questions that come with that. Questions like; “Are they mad at me?”~~ “Do I mean so little to them that they forgot me?” or “Maybe they just don’t love/like me anymore?” All these questions the enemy could use to taunt us with if we let him; however, let me put a different spin on it, “What if GOD asked all those questions when we exclude Him from our life??” {Ouch}.

See, I believe that God does, because He created us to be in relationship with Him. Think about it, when we are in an intimate relationship with someone, we want to be included in every nook and cranny of their life; it doesn’t matter what trivial thing it is….and when we are not, we feel a break down in that intimacy. It is the in’s and out’s of everyday life that build upon the relationship. So, just like it saddens us when we are excluded from relationships in our lives, God feels that same exclusion when we don’t include Him in ours.

Relationship -vs- Religion

Let me start by saying, “I am not setting out to bash the church. Or in NO way, imply that we should throw away the assembly of believers” However, God has really been doing a number on me and placing a burden, not only on my heart, but the hearts of believers all around me. And that burden is the issue of relationship versus religion.

I grew up in and out of church and have been in church my whole adult life. And to be honest, I love church. I love people. I love doing things. I love feeling like I belong. All of these things I have gotten from church and not to mention a wealth of knowledge; however, (in my case, and I can only speak from my experience) it wasn’t until God took me on a 3 year journey outside of the church, that I finally found a relationship with Him. {Please, please, please hear my heart, I am not saying, “leave your church to find Jesus.”} But it took me leaving the religion behind to find the relationship. I was so busy doing and being that I couldn’t find that intimate relationship with Christ that I so longed for and looked for in the church. See, I believe the “church” should be the manifestation of a relationship built with and through Christ not an organization to find religion.

I am saddened because we do so many “good” things and we are “good” people, but we wonder why we walk around in defeat and constantly longing for more. A religion keeps us busy and wondering around the same proverbial mountain but never entering the promise land and the satisfaction that only comes from a relationship in Christ alone.

So I find myself at the edge of the cliff. Do I stay back where it’s comfortable and I feel certain of some things in my life (whether good or bad, but certain and routine) or do I jump into the unknown and unfamiliar? If I’m honest, I have to say that I am scared to jump and move into a place of sink or swim. I am reminded of a time when my daddy was teaching me to jump off of the diving board… He said, “Jump, I will catch you” well, little did I know that all he would give me is his pinky finger…..need I say it was “sink or swim” time for me. I think I am looking at God the same way, “Jump, I’ll catch you” only I am assuming He is going to allow me to sink or swim and not fully embrace me, that it will be up to me alone to survive the next season of my life. Never mind that He has proven himself over and over to me; there is still that little girl inside of me that is afraid He will decide that I am all grown up now and it’s my job to fend for myself. But that’s not Him, His word says He will never leave nor forsake me; that He provides and protects me in my times of trouble and my times of prosperity. If I didn’t know that to be true, I would never move ahead into the future and plans He has for me. I have to know that He will be there to catch me when I am tired, when I am afraid, when I don’t have the strength to take that next move….it is He that gives me my portion daily…..I need only to trust Him and surrender to Him.

Sink or Swim

So I find myself at the edge of the cliff. Do I stay back where it’s comfortable and I feel certain of some things in my life (whether good or bad, but certain and routine) or do I jump into the unknown and unfamiliar? If I’m honest, I have to say that I am scared to jump and move into a place of sink or swim. I am reminded of a time when my daddy was teaching me to jump off of the diving board… He said, “Jump, I will catch you” well, little did I know that all he would give me is his pinky finger…..need I say it was “sink or swim” time for me. I think I am looking at God the same way, “Jump, I’ll catch you” only I am assuming He is going to allow me to sink or swim and not fully embrace me, that it will be up to me alone to survive the next season of my life. Never mind that He has proven himself over and over to me; there is still that little girl inside of me that is afraid He will decide that I am all grown up now and it’s my job to fend for myself. But that’s not Him, His word says He will never leave nor forsake me; that He provides and protects me in my times of trouble and my times of prosperity. If I didn’t know that to be true, I would never move ahead into the future and plans He has for me. I have to know that He will be there to catch me when I am tired, when I am afraid, when I don’t have the strength to take that next move….it is He that gives me my portion daily…..I need only to trust Him and surrender to Him.

Survival Mode

As I, and several people close to me, go through a season of trial and hardships I have observed that while these times should, and most times do, draw us closer to God and make our desperation for Him real. However, I have also witnessed and admittedly experienced times of separation from Him.

Scripture tells us in Nehemiah 8:10 “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is our strength”. So if that is true, why do we have a tendency to go away from the Lord during times of trial and hardships? We allow discouragement and the overwhelming pressures of life suck the joy and strength right out of us. We go into “survival mode” of just going through the motions, getting the job done and alienating those closest to us; including the Lord. So if scripture is true (which I believe it is) then we need to go after joy with everything in us, otherwise, we grow weak and weary.

Which brings me to the next scripture that the Lord laid on my heart…..

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

So, to summarize these two verses, I hear that IF/when I come to Him when I am burdened He will give me rest and taking it a step further, that His joy will be my strength….then why do I run in the opposite direction? I can’t speak for others, but I certainly have to admit for myself that maybe it’s because:

1. I think I can handle the situation all by myself and that I can’t “really” trust God to handle it.
2. Maybe I shouldn’t bother Him with this.
3. This one I hate to admit, but it’s because I am pouting. Things aren’t going my way or I am not getting the results I thought I should, so I withdraw my affections from Him. I punish Him. I give Him the silent treatment. Better said, I act like a brat!

By the way, all of the above scenarios are nothing more than pride issues; which also I believe is a trust issue. Because trust requires us to let go and believe Him and His word and honestly sometimes I just don’t trust Him, after all how can He care as much as I do about the results in my life?? That’s what the enemy would have us believe anyway.

However, He tells us to come to Him and He will give us rest, so I have to know that when I am not at peace, it’s probably because I am not trusting Him and I am taking on the burdens of my life and this world all by myself….He didn’t ask us to carry any of it. He came that we may have life and have it to the full (John 10:10)….so why am I settling for less than that? I would say it is high time that I humble myself and give my burdens to Him. How about you friend?

Promised Land

Over the last several years we have found ourselves in a wilderness state; and especially the last year. We have had to depend on the Lord like never before; therefore, we have seen God in a way we have never seen before. It reminds me of the story of the Israelites being in the wilderness. They depended on God for manna daily….if their God didn’t provide, they would not eat. Well that sounds like a bad thing, right? Well, I feel differently about that now….because in the last year abundance has been scarce, but security hasn’t. We know now in a very intimate way that the Lord is our provider and that He will supply all of our needs according to His riches and glory (Philippians 4:19)…BUT, as we embark on the next season of our lives, meaning the Promise Land…I would be lying if I said I was not afraid or a little apprehensive. Because with that comes great responsibility, and just like the day after the Israelites ate in the Promise Land, the manna stopped. Does that mean God’s provision stops? I don’t think so, because His word promises in Hebrews 13:5 that He will never leave or forsake us; but what it does mean is that He has been equipping and preparing us for the Promise Land. So I can go forward confidently and boldly knowing that, though the times in the wilderness were tough, it was Him preparing me for the responsibility that I will have in the Promise Land….To whom much is given, much is required. (Luke 12:48)

Upon writing this, I am taken back and reminded of what it felt like leaving the security and comfort of knowing someone else was responsible. As I am sure many young adults must feel….exhilarated, excited; maybe nervous, scared, and quite frankly some days, you just want to go back to being that little boy/little girl that wants to curl up and let someone else be in control (daily manna). But just like God prepared the Israelites for the Promise Land; you too, have been prepared. And as we continue to follow God, He is still in control, none of that has to change. We just assume more responsibility but we can still crawl in our Daddy’s lap and rest. Just because it feels like we’re on our own now, doesn’t mean it’s true….remember Hebrews 13:5.

Comfort or Character?

Yesterday as I was talking to someone, they said, “I don’t understand why God would allow this when He knows how I feel”. That makes me think of the saying, “God is more concerned with our character than He is our comfort”. That is not a very comforting statement, but it’s the truth. So often times we expect God to be easy, to make things easy for us and do things the way WE want it done. No harm, no foul and everyone’s happy, right? Um, no, think about the caterpillar transforming into a beautiful butterfly….what if it decided that going through the cocoon process was just too hard or not worth the sacrifice or doing away with selfishness? You see, it is during the cocoon process that the wings are strengthened and old cells are stripped away, cells that won’t benefit the butterfly. I am sure the process is not very comfortable and it would not have been the path the caterpillar would have chosen, but look at the outcome. It has wings to fly and beauty for us all to enjoy. Much like the caterpillar, we must go through a metamorphosis’ of sort so that when the process is over we can soar to higher levels and our beauty in the Lord can be seen by all to enjoy. So when we don’t trust the hand of God, we can trust the heart of God. Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. He knows the beginning to the end….and we must trust that He knows what best for us ~ the who, when, how and the where.

The Prodigal

Do you remember when the wonderful flip phones came out? You know? the ones that could finally take pictures and record videos? Well, my family loves all the latest gadgets and when one person gets “the latest”, they all want it. So once again, true to form, my husband just had to have the new Motorola flip phone, never mind that he never, and I mean never carried his personal phone; only his work phone. So needless to say, when he brought this new toy home, my son insisted on having this phone. He (and I ~smiles) argued our point very well…..”But Dad (Honey-with “that” look), you never carry your personal phone, why not let me have it.” So after much convincing, my husband let my son have the phone. Well the very next week my son had a trip to Florida planned. Florida: water: new phone? Need I say more? Well after several days of not hearing from my son, one of the other mom’s whose son was on this trip called to ask me if I had heard about my son’s phone, and of course I had not, so she informed me that he had dropped it in the lake. After the shock wore off, my husband and I decided not to tell him we knew, but to wait and see if he would tell us. He even called from someone else’s phone, but never told us about the phone. I remember thinking to myself, Lord, if he would just tell us about the phone we could fix this problem. And I remember feeling the Lord reply, “My daughter, isn’t that how you do me? Aren’t you always trying to fix things that should be handled by me?” “Whoa, Okay God, I understand.”

Isn’t it sad that when we make a mess of things, we always run from the only source that can help us fix it? Isn’t it funny that we allow shame and condemnation to set in and keep us from forgiveness, grace and mercy? It reminds me of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32)……..after the son had demanded his inheritance and left home to squander it all away and he was at the bottom of the pit eating with the pigs, he wanted to come home…..but the enemy tried to lie to him and tell him, “You can’t go back there, he doesn’t want you, you’ve messed up too bad, look at you~etc” Isn’t that the same thing the enemy does to us? Therefore, some of us keep running and never look back. But what did that father do? He saw his son from a distance, and immediately demanded the staff to prepare for a celebration. He ran to meet his son with open arms…..you see he just wanted his son home, safe, whole and healed. He didn’t want to condemn or punish him, he was just happy he was back where he belonged.

That is exactly the kind of Father God we serve, His desire is not condemn and punish us for the rest of our lives. His desire is that we be whole, restored, transformed and be in relationship with Him. (even when we smell like the pigs~wink)